The STATE – Now Hiring – Looking for Applicants Who Want to Commit Crime Without Becoming Criminals
*Application for a License to Murder: (Only Sociopaths and Psychopaths need apply)
Federal Level Positions Available:
- President of Country XYZ – Qualifications – Must be able to commit mass murder and still sleep like a baby knowing you are sending Tens; Tens of Thousand; Hundreds of Thousands or maybe even Millions of people to their deaths
- Vice President of Country XYZ (same as above)
- Secretary of State – Extreme skill in propaganda and subterfuge is a plus
- Secretary of Defense – (same as above) (other subordinate cabinet positions also available but may not be as gratifying to the true Sociopath or Psychopath)
- General of Armed Forces / Post Service: Professional Propagandist for major media outlets and or highly paid consultant for multinational corporation – Must possess ability to inspire men and women to kill non combatant civilians and have a nonchalant attitude towards collateral damage; ability to create battle plans with no goal, victory or exit strategy in order to maximize revenues for the Military Industrial Complex. Being able to convince subordinates of the morality of attacking people who have not attack them or their country and are of no threat to it’s security is also a plus
- Security State (US only) – CIA; FBI; NSA… For those who prefer the more Cloak and Dagger or just really like pushing people around and sticking your nose into other people’s business.
- Armed Military Services – For those who like to be more hands on this is the position for you. Are you able to follow orders without question? Do you believe your country is the exceptional nation and that we have a moral obligation to be the “policemen of the world”? Do you believe you are protecting and defending the Constitution and Freedom of your own country by killing people on the other side of the world who never attacked your country just because your “superiors” have told you so? Then you are eminently qualified for this position. (warning!!! unlike your superiors you may not survive or you may be injured and disabled for life and or suffer severe psychotic episodes, also called PTSD (post traumatic stress syndrome)) If you think you might experience sympathy or empathy for the families of the soldiers and civilians you may kill you may have a conscience and may not be a sociopath and should probably consider other occupations.
State and Local Level Positions:
Other non federal positions that also offer the opportunity to murder people and very likely suffer no real consequences for your actions are: Highway Patrol; Sheriff’s Office and all other local Law Enforcement Positions.
Must be 18 years of age to apply (subject to change if we need to kill more people than currently projected)
*“We the people” have sanctioned the State to perform actions that would otherwise be immoral and illegal for any individual or groups of individuals to perform outside of the authority “we the people” have vested in the State. Therefore, do not consider that any other entity or individual may commit murder outside of said authority.
*If theft is more to your liking there may be other State positions available for you as well. (Stealing is also not allowed outside of the authority that “we the people” have authorized only agents of the State to perform)